PLEASE GO TO www.pineapplebabble.com FOR MY BLOG.
I’M SORRY AND WORKING ON FIXING THIS PROBLEM. : ( Apparently all of the hamsters and wheels are broken at wordpress. sheesh.
IF YOU ARE AT THIS SITE IT MEANS WORDPRESS IS STILL MESSED UP!
July 23rd, 2009 | PAbabbleWordless Wednesday…Pineapple & Cheese = YUM!
July 22nd, 2009 | PAbabble
Does this actually need a caption? Really? Thought not.
Given that I’m frantically planning for BlogHer 09 and dismally behind on my blogging, I thought I’d take advantage of this whole “Wordless Wednesday” thing, step a bit outside of my “comfort” box, and post a pic of Pineapple. You are very welcome. Oh yeah…supposed to be “wordless”….SHHHH…*giggle*
I don’t wanna grow up!!!
July 15th, 2009 | PAbabbleSo in the midst of the Harry Potter theme music that is cycling through my overly burdened brain, the Toys R Us song (you know…I don’t wanna grow up…I’m a Toys R Us kid…) has been making the rounds, as well. This makes me realize something about myself. I DON’T WANNA GROW UP!
And DAMN IT! I already have!!! – I think.
Let’s look at the facts – I have an education (still working on that master’s, I swear), a career, a husband, a home, a Pineapple, past family issues/hang-ups/baggage that occasionally keeps me awake at nights…do these things qualify me as a grownup?
Or is it the massive student loan debt, the mortgage payments, hospital bills, the fact that I do my own taxes, or fiscal responsibility in general that qualifies me for the adult table during holidays?
Lately, I’ve been daydreaming of the days when I would wake up at my leisure, roll out of bed, enjoy a healthy bowl of Fruity Pebbles and Trix blended together (my thighs just threw up at the very thought) and relax in front of some cartoons before making my way outside to play until the streetlights dimmed. Or even better, those high school years (yes, I’m one of those sick people who actually enjoyed high school – so sue me)…hanging out with my friends, shopping, dancing/cheerleading practice (yep, I’m one of those girls, too – minus the mean) – easy friendships and comaradarie that didn’t require more than a “gimmy a Y.”
These days, I can count the number of “friends” I have on one hand (well, at least the ones I have regular contact with outside of FB). Who has TIME for friends?! <see all of the responsibilities listed above> And time for myself to vedge and enjoy a carb overload treat??? Fuggetaboutit – I have dinner to make and bathtime to wrange and reading time and singing time and bedtime. Whatever happened to those happy-go-lucky times? Nowadays, I’m just happy when DH can pick Pineapple up from daycare!!! It feels like a true break.
Given this new grownup world I find myself plopped into, who can blame me for indulging in a few “childish” things? Who could fault me for my sick Twilight obsession (squeeeee – the next movie is only 127 days away)? And I challenge anyone to waggle their finger at me for “wasting” a perfectly good, most likely sunny, summer Sunday morning at the theater watching Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Because that’s where I’m gonna be folks. Pineapple is going to church with grandma and I’m going to see a movie for children about witchcraft. Nanny. Nanny. Boo. Boo.
(I will however refrain from wearing my Harry Potter glasses and carrying my wand…misplaced those after the book 7 release anyway…or maybe DH stole them….that darned DH.)
The Walk of a Thousand Poops
July 10th, 2009 | PAbabbleTo continue the “poo theme” this poor blog seems to be suffering from, I had to add this post…
Yesterday evening DH, Pineapple, Giles (the dog) and I all headed out for a nice walk through the neighborhood. It started out wonderfully – weather was perfect (a clear 75 degrees), timing was right (traffic was nonexistant), and we were headed to our favorite brew pub (The Lucky Lab – allows dogs to sit outside) for a pint. We had a wonderful time enjoying the evening at a picnic table and watching Pineapple go nuts over all the puppies at the pub – all the while stuffing her face with puffs, corn, and turkey bits.
The “Walk of a Thousand Poops” began on the way home…
We were about halfway to the house when Giles pulled over to the side in a nice grassy spot to “do his business.” Only, the business didn’t happen. There we were, bag in hand, prepared to be responsible pet owners and nothing happened. So, we moved along. About 20 feet down the road, he pulled over to another grassy spot – AH! here it is, we thought…but alas, no “business.” Again we started on our way…another 20 feet along and he stops AGAIN! At this point, I’m wondering what the heck is going on when DH, where a decidedly depressed expression, announces “Oh no…it’s the walk of a 1000 poops! Ugh!”
Now honestly, I had no idea what he was talking about but cracked up from the imagery. DH went on to explain that on a few walks he’s taken with the puppy in the past, said puppy has had a bit of trouble “doing his business.” DH informed me that when this happens, Giles will stop every 10-20 feet or so to attempt to go potty. I found this completely hilarious. (I think I’ve pointed out before that I am a 5-year old at heart, so potty humor is endlessly funny to me.)
We spent the next 15 minutes of our walk stopping every few feet and watching our poor puppy hunch over and strain to no avail. As we neared the house, he began scooting on the ground…creating quite a mess on his backside. Which I also found hilarious because we had agreed at the start of our walk that when we returned to the house DH was giving Giles a bath.
As I carried Pineapple inside, DH maneuvered Giles through the back gate and toward the waterhose. From that point on, all I heard was cursing and griping from the backyard. Between giggles, I explained to Pineapple what Daddy was up to…and because she’s only 10 months old, I figured I’d better walk out there and show her. After a warning to DH to watch the language, Pineapple and I joined him.
Holy crap on a cracker.
I haven’t laughed that hard in MONTHS. There was poor DH dry heaving and practically LIFTING the puppy off the ground by his tail while spraying the hose at his bottom. It smelled worse out there than Pineapple’s diaper pail – and that’s saying something!
By the end of the night, Giles was clean and all was right with the world once again. And I fell asleep with a grin on my face as I thought of DH’s face when he declared we were on “the walk of a thousand poops.” Priceless.
XOXOXO
July 7th, 2009 | PAbabblePineapple gives kisses. Yep. It’s official – she is the CUTEST baby in the whole entire world. And she’s MINE – alllllll mine!
I’ll describe the scenario for you and then you can either go puke from the gooey-ocity of it or you can revel in the warm, delish feelings you get from the mental imagery – your choice.
So, if I’m holding Pineapple and I say “kiss mommy,” she leeeans forward and opens her mouth slightly until it’s firmly placed on my mouth/cheek/forhead/nose. At this point I make a *smacker* noise. That is her cue to lean back and prepare for the praise – which is abundant and full of squeals and exclamations of intelligence – while smiling broadly and giggling. She performs the same when asked to kiss a picture in a book, her stuffed bunny, etc., etc.
This is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen in my life. I’m thrilled to be a mommy right now and am so glad I got a cute baby and not one of those not cute babies (like that would ever happen, right?!).
I think this Pineapple has gone bad.
July 3rd, 2009 | PAbabbleThe other evening, my husband and I were sitting quietly in the living room listening to our sweet, adorable Pineapple scream, laugh and kick the rails of her crib – thereby kicking the wall and making a terrible racket. My husband turned to me and said in a very serious tone…”I think the Pineapple is rotten.” After considering for a moment (emphasized by several kicks, a few babbles and one glass shattering scream) I had to agree.
But what do you do with a 10 month-old rotten Pineapple? Time out is not possible and spanking is out of the question (especially given that when I jokingly turned her over my knee and patted her hiney she giggled and pointed at me - clearly she could see I wasn’t serious). How do you explain to such a wee PA that she must be quiet, settle down and (fingers crossed) go to sleep?
Complicating the issue is that the more exhausted she becomes, the more out of control she gets. The level of her furvor to avoid naps and bedtimes increases exponentially as she gets sleepier and sleepier. So as we are reaching our wits’ end, she reaches a boiling point of bad behavior. And believe me, we’ve tried everything.
We do the warm, lavender baths. We try warm milk (aka soy formula) right before bed. I rock her and sing/hum to her and cuddle her just so. Her response about 50% of the time is to scratch at me – I currently have scabs on my face and chest where her tiny nails have wreaked havoc on my skin. Of course, she has no idea she is hurting me, she’s just grabbing on to me and doesn’t realize that it is often painful.
I know that all children struggle with napping/sleeping at some point during their infany and childhood but I just don’t know what we should do about it. That Ferber guy says that we should just let her cry…I don’t think he understands my kid. The more we let her “cry it out” the more frantic she becomes. It has the polar opposite effect on her. He actually says that some kids just need to wind down by crying…not Pineapple. If anything, it gets her going!
So…now, it’s early afternoon. Pineapple didn’t go down for her morning nap until 11:30 – and to keep her at least close to schedule, we had to wake her at 12:45. She was fine with that – especially when we gave her lunch – but I’m dreading the afternoon nap.
I know this is just part of it. And I know my husband and I can take whatever she dishes out. But I have to admit…I’m getting worried about the furniture.
Pineapple…Bubble???
June 26th, 2009 | PAbabbleSo my good friend @dananderson recently made a comment on my Twitterfeed (@pineapplebabble) that if the Pineapple doesn’t stop getting sick, I’ll need to change my ID to “PineappleBUBBLE.” And I’m afraid we are not far off from that!
This last week has been a serious test of my parenting skills, ability to function on zero sleep, marriage, and sanity. We started out last Sunday with a nice cold for the whole family – Pineapple, DH and I were all down for the count – and it just went downhill from there. DH and I were both too sick to go to work on Monday and Tuesday and Pineapple was home with us, working on her own mucous issues. Tuesday afternoon, we took Pineapple to the doc for a check-in because her breathing was so darned raspy and she was really struggling to get the sleep she (and we) so desperately needed.
After being told she had a simple cold, possibly aggravated by mild asthma, we were given steroids, inhalers and sent home to wait it out. That night, I had to scoop her out of her bed more than once to turn her upside down and fishook phlegm out of her little throat – SCARY BUSINESS. Needless to say, we addressed this with the doc but were told to “stay the course” and “you’re doing everything you can.”
Side note: I really HATE that statement. Not only does it rub my Type-A personality the wrong way but it just sucks. I do not enjoy looking at my tiny, red-faced Pineapple and saying “sorry sweetie, we’re doing everything we can.” There has to be more. But I digress…
Wednesday rolled around and though I was ready to return to work, Pineapple clearly was not ready for daycare. After a full day of nebulizing, steroids and trying to encourage a 9.5 month-old to “take it easy,” we thought we were on the right path. That evening as we watched Bolt and listened to a somewhat raspy but happy Pineapple point at Rhino and make “mine” noises (yes, we are bad parents that allow Pineapple to watch TV when she’s supposed to be taking it easy – we also have an extensive collection of Baby Einstein video that she enjoys on a regular basis - give me a call if you don’t like it – that chat will go well) we were feeling optimistic about the next morning.
Though she did wake up that night needing a little extra cuddling and bottle, she did OK so after a quick call to the doc, we dropped her at daycare on Thursday morning. We checked in with our srsly fabulous daycare folks throughout the day and were reassured that all was well and she was enjoying herself….That lasted until 3PM at which point I received messages on my cell, my work phone, DH’s phone and at his office saying Pineapple was “having trouble breathing.” Needless to say, I BOLTED for the exit, dialing the daycare on the way. I was reassured that she was OK, just REALLY raspy – more so than she had been earlier in the day. After picking her up, running her home, nebulizing her and calling the doc – and subsequently arguing with them about the necessity of an ER visit (holler if you think those places are the pits of hell…yeah, me too), we were told to monitor her, continue her meds and bring her in tomorrow morning (AKA today).
Let me just say…last night…was terrible. She was absolutely miserable. And my happy Pineapple – who is usually in a good mood even at the worst of times – was PISSED OFF. That baby was so mad – at me, DH, the puppy – I swear I saw her kick the cat – and she was inconsolable. The only thing that worked was me carrying her OUTSIDE for nearly TWO HOURS…walking around…in the middle of the night…outside. Ugh. So no sleep for her and no sleep for us and all of us are more than a little frayed around the edges. The puppy actually had his head under his sleeping pillow at one point. Oy vey.
Today we went back to the doc. Lo and behold…Pineapple has an ear infection on top of everything. Poor, poor, poor Pineapple. And now, we’re preparing for visits with pediatric allergy specialists, gastro-intestinal specialists, and another doc visit on Monday to try to figure out WTF is going on.
Now, let me be clear – I’m so thankful for my Pineapple. I’m so thankful that we can go to doctor’s visits and try to figure out what is going on and help her as much as possible. My Pineapple means the world to me. So while all of this sounds eerily like complaining, try to think of it more as lamenting. For her, for us, for my coworkers who have to hear about all my baby drama (you know who you are), and for all the parents out there who have dealt with a sick Pineapple of their own. It is hard. It isn’t pretty. And the illnesses last too long – one minute is too long, trust me. It is terrible to look at you wee one and know that you just cannot do anything else to help. It is heart-wrenching. But it is so worth every exhausting, terrifying, exasperating moment. So, so, so worth it.
And too make this week even worse, Ed, Farrah and MJ all passed away. THE announcer, a legend, and the king of pop. What. A. Week. Let’s all cross our fingers that next week is better. Have a good one!
Oooh..is that a tugboat?! WHOOPS just crapped my pants.
June 20th, 2009 | PAbabbleI had the pleasure of visiting with some friends over lunch yesterday to hear all of the tales about my pal @luckychristi’s recent trip to China. It was such an interesting conversation and there were so many topics for discussion. But one particular topic has been plaguing me since our get together…
It concerns what she explained to be the diapering system employed by some parents. Apparently, the children wear “split pants” so that they can just go potty wherever and whenever they want. Yes, this is what I took away from the luncheon because I am three and focus on THE MOST IMPORTANT aspects of every conversation – but I digress. So the kids wear these pants and my friend mentioned that in order to potty train the children the mothers will make a “low whistle” sound to indicate that NOW is the time to do their business. This is very disconcerting for me. And as with most things in life, I began thinking of this concept in relation to my Pineapple.
Would this doom her to a life of never living by a bay? I mean, the foghorn could loosen her bowels quicker than some Jamba Juice with a free cleanser boost! And what about a train in the distance?! OMG, she could never travel by rail car! Tragedy. Even worse…a deep bass. I can see it now…Pineapple is 21 and visiting the local Senor Frog’s on Spring Break in Cabo and they turn up the bass….brings a WHOLE new meaning to foam party….ew. Yep…I’m gonna stick to the dipes. Yes, they are pollutants (unless you use cloth diapers and GOOD ON YOU if you do!). Yes, they mush the nasty stuff all up on her tender areas. But in the grand scheme of things…I think she’ll thank me later when she doesn’t crap her pants when the cute boy walks by her at school…whistling a tune.
POST UPDATE: My friend @luckychristi, has informed me that it is not actually a “whistle” but a special noise the mothers make. She also says that the children are “potty trained” much earlier as a result…kind of like how infants can use sign language much earlier than they can speak – which is v. cool. And brings to mind a Q…is there a sign language element that assists in potty training or that could help us catch up with the folks in China? I for one would LOVE to have a potty trained Pineapple well before schedule! Just a thought.
Nasty kNees are a NO NO
June 16th, 2009 | PAbabbleOur carpet is disgusting. There is no other way to say it. You can’t “nice it up.” No “turds” to polish here. It’s not “Dir-tay,” it’s “DIRTY!” Ew. And it smells. Yuck. Not so good when you’re thinking about your 9mo taking her first little scoots and scrambles on her delicate baby hands and knees across this gross flooring *shudder*.
Thankfully, problem solved! I made an executive decision last week and called in a carpet company for a free estimate - the new carpeting arrives tomorrow! I simply cannot express to you the level of excitement this has caused in our home. DH actually informed me yesterday that after the new carpet arrives, the cat is to be officially banned from our home due to the fact that she leaves ginormous furballs wherever she goes. He then said with a very serious face “I’m planning to be really OCD about this carpeting – I hope you don’t mind.” As long as he has a vacuum in his hand, he can OCD all he wants!!!
So sweet Pineapple will now have a great place to make her first moves and take her first steps. Love. It. Even better, it’s GREEN carpeting! (not the color green – EW – I mean seriously, Jon and Kate pulled up their green carpet so I can’t have it now, can I?!) Apparently most carpet is made from oil – really – but this carpet is made from recycled soda cans! So not only are we not wasting a precious resource, we are helping lessen a landfill. Another big selling point – it’s Scotch-guarded – so given Pineapple’s reflux and the inordinate amount of spit-up that baby produces, this is a REALLY good thing. All in all, I couldn’t be happier with our choice.
If you live in the PDX area and are considering getting new carpeting, let me know and I’ll share the name of the company we went with and the contact information. We were very satisfied with the carpeting selection and the representative we dealt with…in fact, I think I must have thought no less than 5 or 6 times that I wished my niece were there…he was just her type! (sooo cute!)
Oh – and I’ll be tweeting throughout the process tomorrow – so be on the lookout!
sucked into the TWILIGHT zone
June 11th, 2009 | PAbabbleStephanie Meyer will be the death of me. I will blame her for my loss of job, loss of relationships and loss of my child’s early years. She and the Cullen clan will be responsible for my demise. And WHAT A WAY TO GO!
I actually began reading the Twilight series when the very first book came out. I happened to be finishing up my master’s degree and working in a bookstore part-time and the teenage girls that FLOODED the store when the paperback version came out were INSANE. So naturally, I thought that I should be “down with the kids” (yes, I just said that) and read these books (because Lord knows manga was never an option). I was completely sucked in from the first paragraph. By the time the other books started coming out, I was sickly, deathly addicted. I also have this habit of rereading prior books in a series when a new one comes out – just so the story is fresh in my mind and I’m not missing any neat little details (this has proven to be a very bad habit when reading Charlaine Harris’ Sookie Stackhouse series…I think she’s on book 15 or something insane like that…but I digress). Year-before-last for Christmas, I asked for the entire series in hard-back and received it (THANK’S SANTA!). *sigh* The rest of my holiday was spent in a chair in the corner reading them for the 3rd time. Of course, this was pre-Pineapple and I had way more time on my hands than I realized.
Most recently, my friends have started really getting into the series. I have so much fun talking to them about the books, the Cullens, the werewolves (or are they…) and our life-sucking facination with these books. The end result of these conversations with my friends is that I was compelled to read the entire series again. A daunting task when you have a FT job, a DH and a Pineapple, all needing attention. Thankfully, Pineapple is mostly sleeping through the night and goes down fairly early, DH is just as addicted to Call of Duty as I am to these books (anybody need a free copy of Call of Duty – just send me your address and it’s YOURS), so I have plenty of time to read before bed.
I’m now done with this round of rereading. Loved every minute of it. But now…I’m having DREAMS about the Cullens. Believe me when I say, I am much, much, much to old to be dreaming about teenage vampires and young girls who are in love with them. Too. Old. Buuuuuut I just can’t help it. It’s such a guilty pleasure and so few of those are available to me right now.
So, if you – like me – are a mommy (new or old) and just need a fun, healthy outlet, these books are a GREAT option. If you’re thinking “no way – those are for teenagers!” then I encourage you to embrace your inner braces-wearing, awkward and gangly youth and get over yourself! Who CARES who they are written for? Who cares who they are marketed to?! Believe me, these books are just what you need. And if you are truly able to put the book down and walk away after the first page – then I’m sure Nora Roberts has something that you might enjoy. (She’s great, too!)
